Friday, November 21, 2008

Recount gives us stunning view of voters and their wily ways

The recount has taught us much. So far we know there are several reasons a ballot can be invalidated.

1. Ballot traced to Mr. Bing Bong 007 Rabbit-Piano, 123 Fake St., Bemidji, Uranus. Really, c'mon. Fake Street was renamed Falsehood Drive 10 years ago. Someone's using old maps.

2. Ballot discovered at the last moment in the back room in a box under some Tiger Beat magazines with Eric Estrada on the cover, and the guy who brings it in also offers to sell you 40 cartons of cigarettes and some DVD players.

3. Ballots certified by a precinct captain who, when asked for his credentials, shouts FOILED! FOILED AGAIN!, shoots a grappling hook into the ceiling using a gun concealed in his utility belt, and is lifted through a skylight to a waiting helicopter above. He promises to come back with proper ID but never does.

4. Ballot is so ideologically inconsistent it appears the dude was just messing with us.

5. Ballot traced to voter who left booth muttering that it must be one of those automatic flush things because he didn't hear nothing and couldn't find a knob.

From James Lileks at the Star-Tribune. One of the comments: "Lileks is about 1/3 as clever as he thinks he is."

Catch you later.....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's Lilek's Southern Baptist Minister hair-do. He doesn't find many sounding boards to test humor on obviously.